I came across this wonderful blog piece that really got me thinking. And crying.

Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

It reminded me of when I was losing my mum and the conversations we had about regrets. She was full of regrets. So many things she wanted to do. And once I had lost her, I wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t die with the same regrets as her. So this blog piece written by a nurse who worked with the dying is quite poignant for me.

She cites the top 5 regrets as being;

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me”

It doesn’t surprise me that this is top. The world is full of people who are not being true and it shows in the way that they behave and the illnesses they have. Do what you love and spend time with people you love. Anything less is simply not worth it. You only have one life and even then it is too short. Don’t let this be your regret. Take time to find out who you are and what you’re about and be brave to start the journey. It doesn’t mean it’s an easy one, but neither is dying with the regret that you never even bothered trying.

“I wish I didn’t work so hard”

Apparently this was top among the men. They spent so much time at work and not enough with their family. Sure they had the trappings of wealth, but it’s only late in life that you realise that none of that stuff matters. What matters is how much you mean to others, the love that you share with others and the magic moments you spend with them. That’s stuff that money can’t buy and that you can’t get back once time has lapsed.

“I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings”

Repressed feelings are so damaging both for your spirit and your body. Many illnesses come from not expressing your true feelings. It might mean a difficult conversation or losing some people along the way, but isn’t that better than being a fake?

“I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends”

The busy-ness of life can so easily take over that staying in touch with friends falls behind over the years. But remember, these are the guys that give you laughter, support good times and magic moments. And without them you have no laughter, support, good times and magic moments.

“I wish that I had let myself be happier”

Near the end many realise that happiness is a choice and had they made the choice sooner, their life would have had more smiles and joy. Why wait until your deathbed to make this choice? Happiness isn’t something that you achieve when you acquire stuff, it’s a state of being. As with anything, the order of things is be-do-have, not have-do-be. Used to be someone who would utter the words “when I have that raise/that car/that house/whatever I’ll be happy”. Then I lost my mum and I resolved to work through all my crap so that I didn’t die with the same regrets as her.

You might be wondering what the link with personal branding is here. Well for me, it’s about authenticity and integrity. If you’re being true to yourself and doing something that you love, then you’ll be happy. By actively managing your personal brand, you’re more likely to be mindful of your actions and less likely to get carried away with the current of life. For me, proactively managing your personal brand means being authentic and true, it means being well balanced in how you spend your time to ensure you achieve what you want. And often, when we acknowledge our true selves, our ambitions become more meaningful and selfless. And so it follows, that many of these regrets should pass you by. Now, isn’t that something to aim for?

So, now that you’ve read this list of regrets, are there any that you’re guilty of? Leave a comment below.

There’s a misconception out there that for you to have a really strong personal brand, you need to dominate all the social networks, have a really strong web presence, have written at least 2 books etc etc. Well, don’t worry, because you might not need to do any of this.

Identifying what you need to do to build a strong brand always boils down to what you want and who your targeting. At its very simplest, the ONLY thing you ever need to do to have a strong brand is this;

Do what you you’re hired to do & do what you promise to do.

If this is the only thing you do consistently, then this is a great place to start. If I was to add one thing to this, it’s this.

Be very clear who your target market is and make sure they know about you.

If you’re clear about who needs to know about you then that will determine what strategy you use to communicate and engage with them. For some people this target group can be a very small group indeed.

Let me tell you about a friend of mine. She sells products to the UK retailers for a big US brand. For her, the people who need to know about how great she is are her employers and the key decision makers in the UK retailers that represent the market she’s in. After all, they are the people that will influence how successful she is in her career. Now as a result of consistently being great at her job, her counterparts at her competitors are also aware of how good she is – they’re losing sales to her brand!

Her target market is a very small select group of people, probably around 20 to 30 people. So for her, having an active Twitter or Linked In presence is unnecessary so she doesn’t bother. As is a blog and any public speaking engagements. She just needs to focus on doing a great job. And she is. How does she know this? Well, one of her competitors offered her a package that she couldn’t refuse. They had been courting her for many years, but as she’s happy where she is she told them that she would only move for A LOT more than she was on. And as she’s a mum, she would want a 4-day week. She never for a moment thought that they would offer her exactly what she wanted. So when faced with a package she couldn’t refuse, she took it and handed her notice in only to find that her current employer beat the competitor offer. So now without actually moving companies she’s earning around 30% MORE than before, and she’s working 20% less!

I love this story because it’s a great example of how you can achieve greatness in your life by keeping it very simple and focussed. If you’re good at what you do the results will speak for themselves and there will no need for you to broadcast yourself to the world.

So are you clear on WHO can influence your success? And are you engaging with them? Do you they know about you? More importantly, are you wasting time doing things that aren’t getting you anywhere?

Discover the answers to these questions in Quick & Easy Introduction to Personal Branding.

Style & Substance

There’s so much resting on making the right first impression, that we often hold ourselves back or worse, project what we think the other party wants to see. Yet, any attempts to control our persona will usually mean all parties lose out.

But isn’t that what Personal Branding is all about? Shaping our persona so that we’re making the right impression?

In a word, no. That would be separating Style and Substance and deluding ourselves by thinking that Style can substitute for depth.

Ok – should we focus on Substance and forget Style?

Well it’s definitely where we should start. Substance comes from who you are at your core. The characters strengths that shape what makes you happy, how you see the world, where your success will come from and what others will value you for.

At Lovephool we call them your Buzz Strengths, because they are the strengths that energise you from within and get you – Buzzing!

In fact, your top 5 Buzz Strengths is what defines your ‘Substance.’ Based on the latest research from Positive Psychology, your highest character strengths are the 5 aspects of your inner character that:

• You’re known & loved for: The top 5 things that people see when you’re using your Buzz Strengths. It’s you at your natural best. You can’t help but shine and it makes others warm to you because they can relate to who you really are.

• Make you happy: The times when you’ve felt most energised and alive are probably when you’re using your top 5 strengths, even if you didn’t realise it at the time. It’s your comfort zone; you at your most chilled and content.

• Might save your life: When the chips are down, you’ll naturally rely on your top 5 strengths to pull you through. Again you may not have known it before, but deep down, these 5 Buzz Strengths are part of your core character that pulls you through.

Great – so I’ll find out what my Buzz Strengths are and I’m done?

Not quite. Knowing your Buzz Strengths will help you discover the substance behind your Personal Brand, but it’s of little value unless you apply it.

The ‘Style’ part of Style and Substance is what people will remember you for. It’s the act of applying your Buzz Strengths so that you create value in your own life and in the lives of people around you.

That’s when your Personal Brand begins to flourish – effortlessly

When you use your Personal Brand as a way of recognising and apply your Buzz Strengths to add value; you’re showing people who you are. And they’ll believe you.

People will know who you are when you meet them on-line or face to face. They’ll know what to believe because you’re clear on who you are. That combination of Style and Substance is the difference you make.

Believe me, they’ll remember you for it.

Guest post kindly written by Kuldeep Brar @missybrar from @lovephool. Get your character strengths profile now at www.lovephool.com.

As an ex-brand marketer there are certain tenets of branding that just can’t be played with. I’m a Leo and I’m stubborn. I can’t help it. One of these is consistency. All great brands are built on consistency. Without consistency, people don’t know what they can rely on you for or what to expect from you.

People need to know which box to put you in (in their heads) and if you confuse them, they can’t put you in a box and you’re a floater. Floaters drift off never to be remembered again. It’s a sad story.

So, you can imagine the sort of week I had when not one but TWO instances dared to suggest to me that consistency is not only something NOT to strive for, but that in the context of personal branding, impossible to achieve while being authentic.

WTF?! I know. If you need to take a moment and grab some fresh air, I understand. I’ll still be here.

courtesy @snowbadger

The first chink in my week came when Simon Manchipp @manchipp (he on the left) let me have a sneak preview of his design agency’s new website. Simon’s desgin agency SomeOne are a highly respected agency and are sought after by big brands for big branding projects. One of their current projects includes the Eurostar rebrand. Yeah. This guy knows his stuff.

So, to get a sneak peek of their new website is not something I’m going to pass by. I’m a tad nosey too.

The page headed Manifesto got my attention so that’s where I started. And that’s where I found this

It stopped me dead because somewhere I felt that they were saying that consistency = bad. I stared at the words, lost in thought. But they’re not. They’re focusing on the extreme definition of consistency which helps them to reinforce what they’re about; creating memorable brands.

Memorable is hard with consistency. That’s not the role of consistency. What makes you memorable is the magic and the sparks. Think Seth Godin’s Purple Cow. It’s the little surprises in life that make it delicious and interesting. And if you can harness magic moments into what you do, you’re more likely to be memorable.

One of their blog articles, One big idea isn’t the big idea, refines this further

“Consistency is utterly misplaced as a central thought in branding. Coherence is what is important. Join it up everywhere, but don’t make it dull, repetitive and predictable (the very definition of consistent). Surprise, delight, entertain, inform and inspire.”

I realise this all sounds a bit corporate, but the same things can be said of personal brands. If you can surprise, delight, entertain, inform and inspire others, do you think that people will want to spend time with you? Do you think that people will want you on their team? Of course they will! By doing those things, in a coherant manner that makes sense to what you’re about, you’ll create an emotional connection with others that is sure to engage them. Once engaged on an emotional level, you’re on your way to build trust. And this is most defintely the best direction to be heading in.

So, while I’m going to stubbornly cling onto consistency as an an important aspect of branding (personal and business), I’m happy to relax my view and let coherence join the party too. But the soul of the party will most definitely be the magic & sparks!

If you want to read about the other incident that ruffled my feathers, I’m still writing it.. coming very soon!

So, what are your views on consistency in relation to branding? And how relevant is it to personal branding? Would love to know your thoughts! Leave your comment in the comment section below.

Read the follow up post: The Great Debate part 2

I received an email from Tracey, who is setting up a business. She’s already sought help with brand startegy, coaching around her netowrking and a personal stylist. She wanted to know whether now is a good time to get her personal brand sorted. Here is my answer to you Tracey:

Are you an entrepreneur and have a question about small business branding? Drop me an email and I’ll answer by video!